Bunch Of Pirates Bemoan John Edwards’ Departure (Live Audio)
February 5th, 2008 by joe
Well I guess this was inevitable - a bunch of pirates at a local club sang a dirge about John Edwards’ quitting his presidential run. (A buddy captured the audio.)
A man as attractive as Edwards can’t exactly pull his hat out of the ring without leaving some serious scars. He was a pretty man, but a fierce competitor, and apparently he could run with the big dogs. I’m sure this is the first of many ….
Lyrics below the fold.
Goodbye, John Edwards, goodbye
Like a bride at the altar, am I
Ye led me so far
I can only say Arrrgh!
Alone in my hammock, I sigh
Farewell ye, John Edwards, goodbye
And I say “Here’s RUM in yer eye”
Ye taught us to feel,
Ye was strong as a keel
With a smile as big as the sky
Farewell ye, John Edwards, my friend
Ye inspired legions of men
We strapped on our boots
And played songs on our lutes
Then we got up and did it again
When we hears the name John Edwards, we prays
How do we fear ye? Let me count the ways
We count the men ye’ve beaten
By the hearts ye have eaten
The smile fades but the horror always stays
Farewell ye, John Edwards, the hair!
And that death-dealing icicle stare
He lagged in the polls
But he could chill a man’s soul
A campaign trail with dread in the air
Farewell ye, John Edwards, I say
You kicked more ass than Genghis in his day
Attacked in the night
And then ye took flight
Like a constable of ravens flies away
Farewell ye, John Edwards, the shoes!
They shouted, “Got nothing to lose!”
They was snazzy and sweet
And they covered his feet
And they charmed me whilst watchin’ the news
Adios, John Edwards, Senor
Big enough to give away the store
Let the illegals in
Heck, ALL of their kin
He would have thrown open the door
For all the scraggly men I say, so long
97 Pirates can’t be wrong
Split America in two?
He explained it all to you
And that’s why we’re all singin’ this song
Farewell ye, John Edwards, no more
We’re all headin’ back to the shore
He had the looks to kill
And he wasn’t very shrill
But he surely would have ended the war
So now we put John Edwards to bed
The man could commune with the dead
He gave voice to the poor
Or such was his lore
I wouldn’t get inside of his head
Farewell ye, John Edwards, ya lug
I must say, we boys had the bug
The face was so sweet
Radiating such peace
It’ll be hard to sweep ye under the rug
This entry was posted on Tuesday, February 5th, 2008 at 2:51 am and is filed under Campaign 2008. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
February 5th, 2008 at 11:32 am
LOL.
February 5th, 2008 at 12:13 pm
Yes, the target audience was amused, I have ascertained.
February 5th, 2008 at 1:01 pm
all i can say, is Michael’s response:
“And it just goes on . . . arggh!”
February 5th, 2008 at 1:08 pm
Yeah, and to think the original had like 30 additional verses! At turns out, there are a ton of words that rhyme with “stew” and “tater” but I think there was a rugby game scheduled to begin on the telly so they had to cut it short.
February 5th, 2008 at 4:12 pm
Why you never became a professional singer/songwriter, I don’t know.
February 5th, 2008 at 4:56 pm
Mainly it was because I could never pull off the look. Born without a sense of style.
February 5th, 2008 at 6:03 pm
I can hear the Breck Girl crying now.
Good Bye, John we will miss ya.
July 25th, 2008 at 11:14 pm
[…] I guess the pirates had it right after all about ol’ John Edwards. […]