Utter Scandal And Infamy From The AARP
March 11th, 2008 by joe
Well well well, what in the bushy eyebrows of Satan do we have here in today’s mail:
An AARP card for yours truly! There is so much that is wrong about this I hardly know where to start, but in full awareness of the crew who are most likely to opine here I must begin by acknowledging the utter inappropriateness of this particular piece of mail and the OBVIOUS fact that there is certainly nothing FUNNY about it. About which fact I am confident we are all of the same mind.
I am an exceptionally young 47, and on good nights, when the lighting is just so, and the cashiers are sufficiently culturally remote, I still get carded. SO THERE, YOU BASTARDS.
For one thing, although I have been admittedly proven grumpy way beyond my years since approximately the age of 24, I am in no wise a “grumpy old man.” I am a realist, which entails a certain amount of clarity that the mindlessly youthful have often interpreted as crotchety. I’m as young at heart as they are, although much quicker to strike with my cane. Experience.
For another, I am sure we are all aware that “retired” in my own case is at least 20 years hence because of the utter discombobularity of the whole Social Security scam - thank you very much Franklin D. Roosevelt and every president since - and as long as I am laboring out here like a dog to support the aged lard-asses living off my dime I would expect to be viewed at very least in a different demographic class.
As sure as they’re all down in Florida playing shuffleboard I’ll be up here paying FICA to cover their whiskey and bingo, and I frankly don’t see enough commonality in that relationship for us all to be carrying the same card. Really, it should be two totally separate cards: One, AARP, and the other, AARP Sucker.
Yes, all ego aside, I am going on record as a resister in this particular case. It’s a matter of principle, and some principles are too important to stand aside and watch the corrupt game keep on going. I prefer to fight.
And there is the ego aspect as well.
UPDATE: Yeah, I just replaced the original card with one with the “Authorization Code” whited out, because on second thought I have no idea what this behemoth organization has access to, such as possibly my grocery records. I don’t want those stolen.
This entry was posted on Tuesday, March 11th, 2008 at 6:51 pm and is filed under Culture, Personal Stuff. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
March 11th, 2008 at 8:22 pm
As a fellow young 47, I’m glad to know I’m not alone in thinking this way
March 11th, 2008 at 8:47 pm
[…] I’m offended. Sheeesh… For one thing, although I have been admittedly proven grumpy way beyond my years since approximately the age of 24, I am in no wise a “grumpy old man.” I am a realist, which entails a certain amount of clarity that the mindlessly youthful have often interpreted as crotchety. I’m as young at heart as they are, although much quicker to strike with my cane. Experience. Some people, I swear […]
March 11th, 2008 at 9:26 pm
Vivian J. Paige?! I recogonize you! How’re things in the Democrat Party?
March 11th, 2008 at 9:31 pm
Vivian, what an honor! Thanks for stopping by. Will we have another bloggers event?
March 11th, 2008 at 10:03 pm
Joe,
What an entertaining commentary. Well done! I’ll have more to say once my teeth stop fizzing and I can get them out of that glass cup.
March 12th, 2008 at 8:24 am
Joe - I stop by more than you think
I don’t usually comment because someone else has already said what I wanted to say (and because you have the privilege of having a commenter here that still doesn’t know how not to offend).
I’ve been so far under that I don’t know what’s going on with the bloggers’ event.
March 12th, 2008 at 8:48 am
It’s nice to be remembered.
March 12th, 2008 at 11:01 am
47 ? Mine and my wife’s did not start coming until we were a few months shy of 50. I received more of these AARP invitations than I did AOL cds.
Keep an eye out for and beware of USA Next, all they do is take your money. Don’t worry about getting older, as long as you wake up to a dry bed, you are fine.
March 12th, 2008 at 11:36 am
Dude, it is a gentleman’s duty to sleep on the wet spot.
March 12th, 2008 at 12:17 pm
Jack, I sleep on myu side facing mu wife, not so cut
March 12th, 2008 at 12:18 pm
Sorry, accidently hit the track pad..
Jack, I sleep on my side facing my wife, not so cut and dried..
March 12th, 2008 at 3:22 pm
[…] Seems the magic age of 47 is when the AARP decides that they had better start courting folks. Joe is 47 and got one. Grumpy, too. I didn’t even bother to open mine. I promptly threw it […]
March 13th, 2008 at 9:33 pm
I got this thing in the mail, and I’m 46! I actually wrote in big permanent marker, “I’M NOT 50 YET!!!” and put it in their business reply envelope, but then my wife smelled the marker and ripped the envelope open when I stepped away.
Ironically, I received my first invitation to join AARP when I turned 25.
True story: My MIL once did mistakenly refer to AARP as the “American Association of Retarded Persons.”
March 13th, 2008 at 11:29 pm
Hmm, well if that’s the criteria maybe I do belong ….
March 14th, 2008 at 6:24 am
You know, they are no longer the American Association of Retired Persons … they’ve officially changed their name to just AARP. Guess their long-term strategic plans pointed to the fact that their prospect base would shrink considerably if they continued to target only retired folks.
March 14th, 2008 at 10:33 am
Don’t ever join this association.
AARP is the #1 stumbling block to entitlement reform in the country. Due to their size and clout they have and continue to stand in the way of any reform to SS, Medicade or Medicare.
They have become a leftist organization looking to do nothing but enshrine every mistake FDR and subsequent nanny state policy wonk ever made.
Reject them.
March 15th, 2008 at 10:25 pm
I do. I ALSO recieve their junk, and it hits the trash receptacle everytime. Although I am courting the idea of taping their business reply envelope to a large box filled with rocks and old tires.It is legal after all, and it made Capital One drop all their mailings after three verbal request to do so.
March 16th, 2008 at 12:08 am
Ha! I used the business reply trick with phone books sent to the RNC last year, but did not think to apply it to credit card companies. That is genius, dude. I’m going to start doing it.
March 16th, 2008 at 5:51 am
10 Toes,
“Although I am courting the idea of taping their business reply envelope to a large box filled with rocks and old tires.It is legal after all, and it made Capital One drop all their mailings after three verbal request to do so.”
Hilarious!
May 25th, 2008 at 2:27 pm
I GOT ONE AAT THE RIPE OLD AGE OF44. IM SO PISSED AND DEPRESSSED. I THOUGHT ID BE DEAD BY NOW. LIVE HARD AND DIE LIKE A ROCK STAR. NOW IM JUST OLD AND AARP ANTIQUE-ANANCHRONISTIC-READY TO PERISH CARD CARRIER
August 11th, 2008 at 6:28 pm
When my mother had a stroke 4 years ago I started organizing her papers and found she had auto payments to aarp for decades. It was suppose to pay every time she was hospitised she did’nt know what she was paying for. Finally I proved who I was and got access to her account,she had been hospitalised multiple times over the last decade for heart attacks stents bypasses diabetes and related issues.When I gathered all the records and submitted them I recieved a letter saying aarp will not pay out on anything over 11 months,she did not know for one reason or another and now is in a wheelchair for the rest of her life. The point is how many seniors have been robbed by aarp and how many billions of $$ does aarp save through seniors disabilitys and missfortune.They know what they are doing and usually there are’nt any witnesses.I can’t be sure of the discussion and promises that took place all those years ago and even if I persue the claim would’nt the state or facility lay claim to it since she is now on relief.
A couple of years ago I turned 50 and started getting the aarp crap offers in the mail and they can’t swindle me although they hurt my mother.Hopefully people will read this and heed the warning these people are the lowest bottom feeders on the elderly and are no better than any other corperate criminals. They prey on peoples misfortune and disability!
August 11th, 2008 at 8:18 pm
When AARP started, one had to be 60 (sixty) years old to join. Then they found out how powerful they could be and decided to lower the age by ten years in order to increase their membership tremendously, what with the boomers getting into their fifties.
It’s a crummy organizaton, IMO, because even as a member one doesn’t have much, if any, say about the points they stress. One example was the thwarting of the catastrophic insurance plan put forth several years back. AARP scared the members out of what I believe, would have been a very good plan.
October 25th, 2008 at 1:53 pm
air plane ticket…
air plane ticket…