Sanity, thanks for giving more than 1% to charity last year. I was, of course, mocking Barak Obama for the recent news revelation that he is, in fact, rather cheap. As someone put it: “CHANGE: What Barak Obama Gave to Charities in 2007″.

The latte thing was an homage to Denis Leary. He had a good rant about going in a coffee shop and wanting to buy just coffee and not have to go through a bunch of fru-fru nonsense. I am a woman, in fact, but I feel just like Denis. I insist on calling Starbucks drinks small, medium and large. You know “gimme a small coffee, please.” You get fifty questions after that: breakfast blend or yukon bold? do you mean tall, because that’s what we call it? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH! Look, just toss me that cup there and I’ll get it my damned self!

Coffee-shot of Jager always makes me come around. Those that put milk products in coffee are girls. Ooops! Sorry, smore. So much for dodgeball.

Imho, milk comes from a teat. You can squeeze fluids out of just about anything, doesn’t make it milk, chock full of a mammalian mother’s natural goodness.

Coffee - nothing beats a shot of Bailey’s.

kinda like snot

re: soy milk, I say don’t knock it till you try it.

politics aside, soy milk is actually pretty good. My girlfriend has the lactose intolerance, so it’s always around. I’d say I prefer it to regular milk now, and I played dodgeball in school, so… It has a nice, sweet flavor. Rice milk is alright, too. It’s no replacement for real cream in coffee, mind you.

This is known as a metrosexual….and it’s the ruination of a nation.

Sanity,
“Well, I whine, but a whole lot less than you guys do”, Lets play some dodge ball, we’ll see you whine.

Given all that, I think Makin’ and I could be friends! (Not BEST friends, but buddies anyway.)

1) People who talk on cell phones while driving, thereby creating a safety hazard.

2) People who fail to use turn signals, thereby creating a safety hazard by assuming others can read their thoughts.

3) People who park cars on their lawns, thereby creating an eyesore.

4) People who park cars on their unmowed lawns, thereby creating a painful eyesore.

5) Suburban houses illegally used as apartment buildings, thereby creating fire hazard and neighborhood property value issues.

6) Politicians who don’t take down their signs a month after election day, thereby creating an eyesore.

7) People who keep chickens as pets in the ‘burbs, thereby creating unpleasant poo and feed-related odors.

Houses with gazing balls in the yard, thereby causing all who pass by to assume the house is occupied by vacuous new agers and potentially creating a decline in neighborhood property values.

9) Schools that don’t permit dodgeball, thereby creating wussy children who turn into even wussier adults.

10) Men who drink soy milk in their lattes, who themselves are the wussy product of schools that did not permit them to play dodgeball. Men should never utter a phrase like “venti soy milk latte” in the first place. To do so, is truly a crime. Men should say, “gimme a cold cuppa joe.”

11) Politicians who do the “thumb thing” when they talk to emphasize their points, thereby making me want to grab said thumbs while yelling “Stop shaking that thing at me!”

12) Democrats who w-h-i-n-e, because, well, that is what they do. Constantly. About everything.

13) People who don’t wipe up their own sweat at the gym, because that is just rude and disgusting.

14) People who do not clean up after their pets or who allow their pets to free range, thereby fouling their neighbors’ shoes when they go out to get their papers.

15) Anyone with fewer than three children who owns a minivan, because such persons illustrate the very height of modern euroweenie-in-America uncoolness. America is a V8 pickup truck drivin’ nation, doggone it!

16) And, related to #15, the preachy, soy-drinking, less than 1% givin’ to charity, cell-phone gabbin’, turn-signal eschewing, dodgeball-hating’ Dem-votin’ people who drive hybrids and want you to preach to you endlessly why you should drive them, too. Just get in the old pickup truck and give it a few revs of glorious American 300+ HP to drown out their tinny voices. Just don’t forget to use your turn signal as you pull out of your space!