Somehow the talk of John McCain’s VP pick going on in this thread feels like a discussion of Manchester United or the Tampa Bay Devil Rays – something that other people care about – but ok, I’ll bite.

I think he has to pick a famous, America-loving, gun-toting white person. He can forget the black vote. With Juan Hernandez as his outreach director he can forget the serious immigration enforcement vote. But the Bubba vote is totally up for grabs, along with all the Democrats who will be unexcited about Obama.

What McCain needs to capitalize on is the fact there is still a big swath of America that is not yet alarmed about illegal immigration (judging by how Tancredo and Hunter polled) but will be alarmed by the fact that Barack Obama hangs with America haters such as his pastor. And his wife.

I’m thinking maybe Arnold Schwarzenegger. He may not actually be good on the second amendment, but you would not know that from his movies, and he is definitely pro-America. There is the technicality of his being born in another country. So maybe Jeff Foxworthy. Hey, if Al Franken can run for office, so can Jeff.

But if it’s deemed necessary to counterbalance Barack Obama’s two years of high level government experience, another choice might be John Bolton with the “Robot with Gatling Guns for Arms” the plausible fall back position if Bolton’s lack of name recognition is a problem.

Ollie North? Nope, probably too military. But jeez, if the situation in Iraq would get a little closer to promising, it would be a possibility to consider.

Ron Paul? Well, I can tell you I would wake up by 5:00 pm to go out and vote for that ticket, but you’d have a couple of really old guys on the campaign poster. Possible tagline: “Continue to enjoy your youth in recreation: We’ll run the country.”

George Allen? “Macaca, f*ck yeah!” It just might play in Peoria.

I’m out of ideas. I think the only one left is Mitt Romney, who could lend the campaign a billion dollars, which would be nice. It’s only May, folks, and there is plenty of time for Mitt to become established in public opinion as the conservative balance on the ticket. And boy oh boy would Mitt pull off a good public appearance with his wife at his side in Branson, Missouri. Mormonism has had it’s challenges lately, but the guy can give an awesome speech when he has to. He could borrow my pistol for photo ops.

McCain-Romney would project an image of competence that Obama would have a hard time matching.