Methinks there is an overpopulation of morons, hence the reason God gave us gators.

My only regret is I don’t think it is physically possible to get drunk enough on red wine to forget you just got your arm bitten off. I’d be interested in knowing what that level of intoxication feels like: under carefully controlled conditions, of course, at least more carefully controlled than a swamp at night.

There are 2 places where gators live in Florida-in the glades or the canals (or your backyard since the canals run thru them). This is resident 101 for Floridians. Some things you just don’t lose track of.

This cat was on the Today Show this morning stating he wasn’t drunk, at least that he could tell, and that he knew the alligator was there, he just has never experienced alligators as being so aggressive before. Stated that the increase in alligators has caused them to become territorial and have to fight for resources which is what drew the alligator to attack him when normally it wouldn’t. The he made some sort of PSA about how animal rights activists are turning the gators into aggressive animals by demanding that they not be killed. LOL. What a moran.

Jacob, I look forward to taking you up on that offer.

Dan, how cool to morph this into a post about fishing for bass in Florida’s gator-infested waters!!!

I had two very crazy gator experiences. First was at Lake Myakka in a canoe when I was about 20. We were floating along, about 25 yards from where we put in, planning for an afternoon of fishing and sunbathing. Suddenly she said from the front of the boat “wow, look at all those waves.” I glanced at a roll of three waves heading toward us from out in the lake and said, “must be a rip tide.”

Not quite contemplating that rip tides tend to be rare in small lakes with a surface like glass.

Suddenly, close enough to splash me, a green-black head the size of an average doormat emerges, followed by a body nearly three feet wide and slightly longer than our canoe, barreling up the shoreline – actually making a grunting noise when it surfaced – shaking the ground, then making a sharp right and stopping on a promontory of rocks and sand which was evidently its natural basking spot.

“There’s Old Joe” someone yelled (referring to the gator, not me).

I don’t know what the record is for a 30-yard paddle by an inexperienced canoer, but I know for certain I was close because I beat the water like whipping egg whites and in approximately ten seconds we were back at the feet of the 70-ish old man who had just sent us on our way.

“We’re done,” I explained, quickly moving poles and tackle box onto the pier and stepping rapidly out of the boat. The old guy chuckled, “Old Joe got yer attention, eh?”

“Yeah,” I affirmed, and we strode briskly off to a nice, solid ground section of bank where I was infinitely more in control of the situation. There is something about seeing a 15-foot animal the size of your car run past you that really clears the mind.

The next was a few years later in Lake Monroe off Sanford, me and the 4-year old in a 17-foot Bayrunner. We were planed out going to another fishy-looking inlet when I saw a shape about 50 yards off the bow, I quickly backed down to idle and saw the familiar shape of an alligator’s head – big bulge where the crown and eyes protrude from the surface, then smaller bulge of the nose some distance away.

Only the “distance” in this case was massive, appearing to be nearly half the size of my boat. A head over 6 feet long. That equals a gator over 20 feet long. Friends, that is a big gator. I thought my eyes were deceiving me, or that it had to be a piece of flotsam, when as we drifted closer it suddenly submerged and disappeared.

We did continue to fish, in another part of the lake entirely.

Jiminy cricket, you do have some yarns to spin – was not aware we shared the Florida heritage.

I would love to hear more of your stories. I am supposed to be in Naples in October, prime snook season, and I am definitely planning to add to my repetoire.

Jacob, Gator doesn’t taste like chicken, it tastes, well, like gator. By far the best reptilian meal is sea turtle.

Joe, Yes, I lived in FL for 11 years before moving back to NoVa. Worked in Fort Lauderdale, and lived in West Boca.