This, my friends, demonstrates why the work of professional academics is so essential to understanding the world we live in.

Middle-aged men want younger women, often touting their intelligence and their high income. This is shown in research at Gothenburg University and Oxford University that studied 400 lonely hearts ads to see how men and women choose partners.

Research in the theory of evolution includes a number of accepted theories about how men and women choose their partners. Among the more established ones is that men place more emphasis on attractive appearance, whereas resources and social status are more important to women.

Thank you, Department of Zoology.

And as long as money is flying around for such critical research studies, let me be the first to float the notion there’s a rumor of men watching sporting events preferring to be served refreshments by females who look like Barbie rather than males like Alfred the butler. Where to start investigating this one? Who knows … I’m flailing about hopelessly, but I guess that’s why I never made it further than a B.A.