Twas the night before New Year and all through the house,
I was playing grab-ass with Honey; after all, she is my spouse.
The champaign was chilling outside in the night air
Waiting for toasting, which would be the fare.
The kids are all grown and out on their own,
Leaving Honey and me to relax quite alone.
I asked, “What should we have-it is almost dinner”
The reply I did receive, “Something lite. I want to be thinner”.
When under the deck there arose such a clatter,
Tis the possum, I thought, but what could be the matter?
I ran to the slider with Killer in tow
Though I might be seen, Rat-Dog profiled low.
The blue moon was up and the evening air cold,
Yet Killer was alert and running ever so bold.
She flew down the stairs and onto the ground
Towards an object that moved without making a sound.
My eyes started to focus on what was in sight,
“Tis an alien” I murmured with a bit of a fright.
Then as the image became incredibly clear
I realized my good fortune was ever so near.
It was a sea monster of enormous proportions.
I was in ecstacy-making all manner of contortions!
I yelled up to Mama “Our meal has been solved
For I’ll boil this thing up and it will evolve
Into a feast of a meal with trimmings and such.
I fear that it just may be a bit too much!”
I headed for the kitchen with dinner in hand,
Making sure his claw wore a large rubber band.
Tis a delight I will cook which I do once a year
To eat and then chill-just filled with good cheer.
So now I must prepare and without further ado
I say Happy Birthday to me and Happy New Year to you!