In case you were, like me, planning to do something other than watch our president call for “freezing” us on our path to bankruptcy tonight in his State of the Union address, below are some alternate choices on television. The self-congratulatory talk of tonight’s seating arrangements signals to me this fairly useless annual exercise has officially jumped the shark, and will not be worth watching again until they get Ricky Gervais to serve as emcee, which we can hope will occur next year.

You will be able to find Paul Ryan’s and Michelle Bachmann’s responses on Internet video relatively soon after, so really there is no reason to tune in.

At 7:00 pm

CSN – Basketball, Nuggets at Wizards

At 7:30 pm

VS – Hockey, Canadiens at Flyers

At 8:00 pm

ESPN CLASSIC – Classic Boxing, Muhammad Ali vs. Ron Lyle
FOX SOCCER – Manchester United vs. Blackpool
SLEUTH – Movie, The Condemned (2007, PG)
OVATION – Movie, Tristan & Isolde (2006, PG-13)
CHILLER – Movie, Phantasm III: Lord of the Dead (1994, R)
TCM – Movie, Sons of the Desert (Laurel and Hardy, 1955, G)
AMC – Movie, Eraser (1996, PG)
FMC – Movie, Adventures of Sherlock Holmes’ Smarter Brother (1975, PG)
REELZ – Movie, All the Right Moves (1983, PG)
DISNEY – Movie, Eloise at the Plaza (2003, G)
STARZ4 – Movie, The Princess and the Frog (2009, G)
STARZ6 – Movie, The Bounty Hunter (2010, PG-13)
RETRO – Movie, Lenny (1974, R)
ENCORE1 – Movie, Sunshine Cleaning (2009, R)
ENCORE7 – Movie, Cowboy (1958, G)

At 9:00 pm

PBS – The Space Age: NASA’s Story
ESPN – Basketball, Purdue at Ohio State
MASN – Basketball, Connecticut at Marquette
NFL – Replay of Jets vs Steelers playoff game
DISC – Dirty Jobs, repair of bridges, roads, infrastructure
NGC – Secrets of Virgin Queen (Elizabeth I)
DISC Science – Mutant Planet (wildlife in Africa)
MIL – Modern Sniper
HIST INT – The Antichrist: Zero Hour
HIST – Ax Men
BIO – Jim Carrey
ANIMAL – Human Prey
TLC – What Not To Wear
OXY – Movie, Catwoman (2004, PG)
FOOD – Cupcake Wars
COOKING – Unique Eats, (burger, ribs)
TRAV – Bizarre Foods
BBC AM – Ramsay’s Best Restaurant (ingredients from Spain)
CURRENT – Kill It, Cook It Eat It (lamb herding)
STARZ1 – Movie, Dear John (2010, PG-13)
STARZ2 – Movie, Planet 51 (2009, PG)
STARZ2W – Movie, Zombieland (2009, R)
ENCORE3 – Movie, Fried Green Tomatoes (1991, PG-13)
ENCORE6 – Movie, Robin Hood (1991, PG)