I heard through the grapevine that Al Gore is on a tirade because his old boss, Bill Clinton, got a speaking spot at the up coming DNC and it seems that Al was overlooked. Upon calling Barry Obama last week to find out why he wasn’t considered, the reason came forth that the last slot was filled through a lottery scenario and a Muslim Imam got it. Al pressed on the fact that global warming is still a front and center issue with the voters and should get deep consideration. With a very lengthy and focused two and a half minute conversation with the president, a solution was agreed upon. If Al could use his global warming voodoo and conjure up a hurricane that would hit Tampa during the RNC then Al would get a speaking spot. Al has been using his carbon credits extensively to bring this about. You would think this is the essence of the tale but you would be wrong.
It seems that Barry commanded Joe “Plugs” Biden to be in Tampa during the RNC to cause total chaos and deplete much needed police security away from the event (the VP always gets heightened security where ever he goes). You see, Barry will tell you in public that he backs his white partner in crime but behind the scenes he is hopping mad over the repeated gaffes his VP is making. So much so that he has destroyed every feather pillow in the WH and kicked the family dog across the Lincoln bedroom. Now the kids haven’t spoken to him and the dog has been constipated for over 3 weeks. Barry is covering all bases on this ordeal. If Al can conjure the hurricane then a post DNC commentary isn’t too much to give up. Whether Plugs is caught in a hurricane, tornado, riot, rabid dogs, old lady attach, etc. doesn’t matter to Barry. He wants someone else on the ticket that won’t embarrass him. Who do you think he has in mind? I got that information also. His first choice is an all “pepper” ticket with Charlie Rangle. Charlie knows how to con, cheat and lie with the best of them and it will help to bring back the stupid voters that have since jumped the Dem ship. His second pick (in case Charlie gets indicted for something in the mean time) will be Sandra Fluke. This will be another first having a woman win VP (Obama voters love fads) and someone that knows what women need and how to bring them into the fold. Barry is a smart guy.
This election is going to get ugly real quick. I would hate to be a Floridian in Tampa when the RNC starts. You’ll have pissing rain like you wouldn’t believe, blowhard wind in the streets and standing BS pools which will likely cause some flash flooding. If you aren’t inside for the RNC then you should leave town. Outside it is going to be a cluster Foxtrot and no one should be subjected to weather like that!