That will be tomorrow. I won’t be watching. But since I got a bootleg copy via the Chinese internet, I thought I would share the highlights with you.

We are on the right (correct, not the enemies) path to prosperity and there is still more that needs to be done. The sequester (what I wanted so that I could get re-elected without cutting anything) is being used by the Republicans to hurt all Americans. If they don’t do the right (correct) thing and raise taxes, thru a balanced approach, then education, school lunches, firefighters, police, food stamps, the old, Medicare (exempt), Social Security (exempt), Health Care Act (exempt), science, the environment, nuclear investigators, Iranian space monkeys, the unemployed, government workers, government contractors, polar bears, Hungarian earthworms, the mentally I’ll–including those members of my party, golf courses I haven’t played, the poor, the needy, my daughter’s best friends’ second cousin by her first marriage, car manufacturers, illegal aliens, my illegal aunt and uncle, the space program, the space between my ears program, wombats, moonbats, Batman, the autistic, the demented, the damned, the damn straight, the damn homosexuals, abortion clinics, Hollywood, and many others will be tragically affected by this and this is something I will not allow. We need to do the right thing and rich people still have money that we need for our programs to keep us on this road to recovery.

Now I don’t think this Chinese copy is right because everyone knows that Batman is a comic book character but the rest of it is pretty much dead on. You can watch if you want to but you heard it here first!