A young lady of my acquaintance recently earned her doctorate and has gotten engaged.  She expressed annoyance that her family gave her more congratulations for her engagement than for her doctorate.

So I told her of my in-laws.  Both had doctorate degrees.  My mother-in-law, in fact, was one of the leading researchers in her  field, and my father-in-law was a well-respected priest.

Then he had a stroke.

It was a bad stroke.  He was unconscious in the ICU for many days.  He has never spoken since — twenty-three months now.  He does not have much motor control at all — but can pull away a little if you’re trying to cut his nails, and he can look at you sometimes.  He is on a respirator and cannot speak.

My mother-in-law immediately quit her job so that she could spend hours sitting with him in the hospital.  When she went to another hospital with a minor heart problem and could not visit, a tear ran down his cheek when we told him she could not visit that day.

All of his education and all of his achievements are gone.  What is left is his love for her.  And she abandoned her career — in the middle of experiments — to be with him.

You will spend eight hours a day, 250 days a year, for 40 years or so, in your career.  You will spend almost all of the rest of your time, and the rest of your life, with your spouse.

If your betrothed is not more important to you than your education and career, you are both marrying the wrong person.