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Browsing Posts in Animals

This morning, I read where our local game warden Bruce Lemmert is retiring.

For those of you not familiar with Officer Lemmert’s career, we have been very fortunate to have one so dedicated as Officer Lemmert for the past 21 years.

Highlights of Bruce’s career :

One of the more notable accomplishments during his 13 years with VDGIF is an initiative for community involvement, The Wildlife Recognition and Reward Program. Lemmert started the program in collaboration with the Loudoun County Chapter of the Izaak Walton League (IWLA). In the spring of each year, Bruce Lemmert and IWLA membership honor those Loudoun County residents and law enforcement officers who assisted in either wildlife management or law enforcement during the past 12 months. The program has been recognized as a model of its kind both by the state and national IWLA, and is now implemented in many areas throughout the U.S..

Bruce was recognized by the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service for his investigative work that helped bring down a wildlife poaching ring that reached from Virginia to New Mexico.

Bruce Lemmert was one of the first officers in Virginia to use DNA analysis to convict an illegal hunter and the first to use a total electronic station to bring a wildlife criminal to justice; the Loudoun County Sheriff’s Department and Virginia Department of Game and Inland Fisheries later adopted the system..

Bruce Lemmert has received numerous awards and accolades throughout his career, including selection as the 1996 Virginia Game Warden of the Year and 1997 Wildlife Officer of the Year by the North American Wildlife Enforcement Officers Association and recipient of the 2002 Guy Bradley Award from the National Fish and Wildlife Foundation and the 2006 Law Enforcement Officers Association’s Group Achievement Award.

Read More In House Joint Resolution 454

On top of all of these accomplishments, Officer Lemmert is one of the nicest guys you could ever meet. Thanks for everthing Bruce, you will most certainly be missed.

Steny, just recently you have demanded that the Republican party come out with a statement publicly denouncing any violence towards you and other members of Congress.  I am assuming that you mean the Dem radical members of Congress since you never have condemned acts perpetrated on GOP members of Congress.  I want to tell you a story that carries its own warning.

There was this very friendly dog that the owner had leash-stacked in his yard for the owner had no fence.  The dog enjoyed his day in the yard not bothering anyone and just wanting to be left alone.  One day a bunch of kids came up to that dog and the dog came to greet them.  When the dog had reached tethered length, those kids starting yelling all sorts of derogatory explatives at the dog which shied away timidly from the abuse.  Days on end this happened with the same result.

The kids decided to ramp it up and started poking a stick at the dog and the dog became very fearful.  The owner of the dog noticed what was going on and came outside to talk to the kids.  He asked them nicely not to taunt the dog.  The kids went away but soon came back and decided to ramp it up another notch by throwing rocks at the dog.  The owner came out again and scolded the kids and told them that he couldn’t be held resposible for what the dog may do in the future.  The kids spewed verbal slanders at the homeowner and he went inside.

The boys returned another day and started their abuse of the dog with stones.  The dog, having nowhere to get away from the kids finally had enough.  He growled and then charged at the kids all the while barking, snapping and frothing at the mouth.  The kids became scared and ran home to tell their parents about the mean dog trying to get them.  One parent went to the door of the dog owner to demand the owner lock that vicious dog up in the house where it wouldn’t be a nuisance.  The owner just refused to answer the door.

Now I am sure that you probably are too ignorant to understand this story.  And you would probably blame the tempermant of the dog on George Bush or some other right winger.  When you and your buddies lie, snub, scoff, ignore, go secretive, abuse, and inhibit the freedoms and livelyhood of the citizens, this is the end result.  Some people are more stronger willed, some abhor violence and others just wait and hope for the best.  There are people out there commiting suicide before losing their homes; commiting crimes because they are desperate; killing co-workers because they got let go from their jobs.  This is all taking place because of what YOU and your ilk are doing to us citizens.  So before you come whinning like a little bitch for momma because of some perceived threats, reflect on what you may have done to summon such action.  Everyone has a breaking point and if you choose to poke that dog with a stick-which would be to snub the American people and enslave them to government-either confront it like a man or hide under a rock.  You reap what you sow, pal

ATTENTION!!!!  Tonight on NBC Nightly News (channel 4 locally) they will be featuring the U.S. Olympic Curling Team.  This could be the “insight” we have been waiting for.  Be sure to listen to what brand of beer they drink.  This could be the deciding factor for that perfect eye/hand/falling down co-ordination necessary to prevail in this sport.  Toast!

First of all, thanks to Bobby for joining our intrepid band here.  Fresh blood is a good thing.  I admire Bobby’s pluck and the energy he brings.  Now for the other side of the coin …

You are a snob — in a twisted kind of way.  Your hero worship of ‘the common working man’ waxes lame and Leninist.  Being lame is well … lame! So is being a Leninist. I hope you get the picture.

I have worked construction doing both Carpentry and HVAC.  I have dug ditches. I currently work as an engineer in front of a computer doing something you call woman’s work.  In short, kiss my behind.  I studied long and hard to earn the skills I use today precisely because, having actually done manual labor, I found nothing romantic, overtly manly, or ennobling about doing manual labor.  I found it hard, and boring.  I also realized any moron could dig a ditch or wield a mop (did that as well).  For me, carpentry was interesting, as a hobby.

I look back on my efforts to get the engineering degree as one of the three most difficult things I have ever done.  Four years of sustained effort, working into the wee hours.  You ridicule this?  You are a ignorant.  Try getting healthy by going to a plumber when you need a doctor.  Try getting your teeth worked on by a stone mason, or a barber. Try getting a job from a janitor or a cashier.

As for the pay, why should a guy wielding a mop get paid as much as a guy who can design factory machines, cars, aircraft or piping systems?  Please answer that.  Can you?

The rarer the item the more it costs on the open market.  Precious stones cost more than glass because glass is easy to get, and plentiful.  Finding a ruby is hard work because it is rare.  The skill required to wield a mop is common, a Doctor is rare.  A pro-caliber ball player is rarer still.  The salaries reflect this.

Frankly, I have a question for you, “Why do you think a cashier should be paid minimum wage, as defined by some politician in Washington?”  Considering your apparent disdain for Washington, I imagine this answer will be interesting to say the least.

As for your ridiculous assertion that raising minimum wage helps workers or the economy, every time it is raised unemployment goes up, or the rate of hiring decreases, or both.  How is this a good thing?  Please explain how your greatly self-vaunted experience has lead to a conclusion 180 degrees out of phase with the historical track record of raising the minimum wage?

In the future, kindly refrain from calling me and others cowards or trying to threaten us.  First of all, you look like an idiot when you do that.  Second of all, none of us are scared by your threats, you only look like a sociopath.  Furthermore, what would you do if one of us called you out?  Hmmmm?

One last thing.  Waxing scatological, or couching your diatribes in the ‘Anglo-Saxon,’ does little to further your case.  Getting frustrated because we all don’t bow down and hail your ‘wisdom’ does not help you, it only makes you look weak and even more pathetic than you would look otherwise.

Thanks for holding down the fort in my absence, guys. Good work here, good posts.

We just got home about midnight. A brief perusal of the Web tells me not much is happening in the world right now so I’ll just post some photos from the trip. If any news of import arises you can be sure I’ll be all over it.

In case you have ever wondered where all the seagulls go when they are not swarming and screeching over our parking lots, the answer is: They go to this beach in Naples, Florida and chill.
seagulls on naples beach

They just sit here for hours, not doing much, watching all the people walk up and down the beach, probably wondering “Why do they just walk along not in pursuit of any baitfish with nary a stop to dig coquinas out of the sand with their teeth?”

Just as we wonder, “Why do thousands of seagulls all just sit there on the beach?”

This struck me as interesting and provocative, I don’t know why. Bridesmaids in the surf – sort of has a ring to it.
wedding on naples beach

continue reading…

I got this from a retired friend, and for some reason I started thinking about ACT

Yesterday I was at my local Target buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Sheriff, the Wonder Dog and was in the checkout line when woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

What did she think I had, an elephant?  So since I’m retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn’t have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again.  I added that I probably shouldn’t, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I’d lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry.  The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me.  I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter’s butt and a car hit us both.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard. Target won’t let me shop there anymore. Better watch what you ask retired people.  They have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say.

Attack Kitten

2 comments

Another Freep gem, posted on Craigslist:

Great with children (assuming you don’t like the children). Probably best used for professional catfighting. He is housebroken, but only because he wants to be. This attack cat has trained himself to seek out his food anywhere you hide it and rip the bag open to feed himself, great for those who travel extensively. Also trained to drink water out of toilet bowls and dishwater from items in the sink. Knows how to open some doors. He will find you wherever you hide…

For the love of God, someone please take this thing out of my house.

I am not a cat guy, but that sounds like my kind of cat.