novatownhall blog

Where you are held accountable for your convictions and record

Browsing Posts in April Fools

I can’t tell you who, how or completely what, as I am held to secret information. I am not divulging anything that will not come out shortly but the buzz is there. Yes, there is a Russian connection but it is not what you think. The connection that the liberal scumbags are trying to present/invent is nothing more that what they usually do…..divert from the real story, and they know what that story is.

It appears that the Russians DID hack Hillzilla’s server and that they DO have her 33,184 personal emails dealing with yoga and Chelsea’s wedding and other mundane daily life adventures. NOT!! The emails deal with the collusion with Putin to compromise America’s nuclear capability by selling off our uranium supply. Remember the overcharge button? She knew what word to use because she “overcharged” the Russians to fill the coffers of the Clinton foundation. The Russian invasion of Crimea and Ukraine? That was another issue with Hillzilla’s fingerprints all over it, as well O’Bummer since nothing gets past him either. Beghazi? That was a deadly cover-up for Iran to divert attention from the nuclear capability we were helping to set up for them. Oh, yeah.

When Nunes went to Trump and Trump knew he was somewhat vindicated, it wasn’t just about the spying that was going on. It was about that Russian connection. Hillzilla was being blackmailed so she gave “favors” to keep from being outed and she made some good chump change along with it. These “secrets” may come to light in a redacted version (which I cannot divulge to you) but it will be a bombshell and we will finally have some high administrations slugs going to prison or possibly even GITMO (I would prefer a black site myself; never to be heard from again). So all you suckers out there that swallow this tripe about Trump and Russians deserve what you get out of this mess. I hope you know how to swallow crow.

Well, it is here; the deadline for the Iran deal (NOT the lack thereof). There is no formal deal as yet but because they have “understandings” then they will continue wishing for that elusive binding agreement. Unfortunately for us, Iran has nothing but time to continue with their quest for the bomb while dum-dum Kerry is lead around by the platinum nose ring. What is surprising is a secret report out of Israel.

It appears that Israeli intelligence has uncovered movements between Iran and North Korea. Because of the unbalance in the Middle East and the internal turmoil and toppling of governments, Iran is trying to speed the process of obtaining a nuclear device while much focus is elsewhere. They have turned to N. Korea and it appears that the little, fat, dictator Kim Jong-un is antsy to help. What has been leaked in this report is that Iran intends to “borrow” 2 nuclear devices and 2 Nodong-B missile delivery systems. These will be smuggled in from the Gaza and into Iran. N. Korea will get an undisclosed amount of enriched uranium in the near future plus and alliance with Iran which could jointly target Israel and America. Iran will supposedly be allowed to export labor to N. Korea. Unfortunately, that “labor” comes in the form of captured Iranian enemies, about to work in camps for Jong-un. It appears that the N. Korean labor force (that is–forced labor) is way undernourished and too scrawny to continue the work needed. These laborers will include ISIS members, Christian women and children.

In other news, the Iranians have supported the mining (read–tunnels) under major Israeli cities, which already hold low yield “dirty bombs”. Israeli intelligence have determined where the tunnels are and neutralized the devices. What was also found has caught most people by surprise. Thousands of canisters containing chemicals have been piled around the explosives. Canisters containing mustard gas, cayenne pepper powder, old spice and Lysol. What good is mustard gas without pretzels? Anyway, Obama and Kerry have refuted this report as hearsay and racial and religious bias and blame the GOP for interfering with another legacy action. Kerry is now determined to challenge O’Malley for the Dem nod for President. Iran and N. Korea are backing the play. Sheesh.

Michelle Obama has told Barack that they need to cancel the White House Easter egg roll.  Michelle has deemed the celebration of the Easter Bunny as childish and detrimental to children.  “The idea of small children finding dyed eggs while having to buy pretty clothes is nothing more than a Pagan ritual” she says.  She further states that “…the killing of chickens and the needless waste of food in these economic times is beyond disgraceful”.  What?  Oh, wait.  It gets better.  “I informed the girls long ago that things like the Easter Bunny and the Stork are for the individuals that need promise of a false hope. Reality and grounding is what these children need”.

These are the mentors of “Hope and Change” which has been shown to be false since they occupied the White House.  As a rebuttal to bringing “Presidents Day” back to the original “George Washington’s Birthday”, the Obamas are going to eliminate the Easter holiday and move Kwanzaa to Easter Sunday where there “…can be a holiday of good and hope.  One that celebrates our African-American heritage with a sense of reality.  Barack sees this as moving forward to uniting our country and it will promote a well being long sought after”.  I wonder if eggs are on the no-no list of foods yet.  I’m sure retailors will be real happy about this.

The Justice Dept. (read Eric Holder) has had too many election violations showing up in states as well the Voter ID requirement, which Justice deems unconstitutional.  In order to simplify the process and make it fair for all to vote without harassment, Holder has decided on new regulations when voting in the general Presidential elections.

All people wishing to vote in the Presidential elections will need to register their party affiliation before they will be allowed to vote.  Upon registering, a party pledge will be signed signifying how you MUST vote in the election (vote cancelled and a $2500 fine or 3 months in jail or both will be assessed if you switch party votes).  A gov’t PICTURE ID or voter ID card with birth certificate will be required to register.  Registration must be at a DMV or voter registration office of the state or county and done by April 30th of this year.  Failure to register disallows you to vote.  Renewal is done on each election year basis.  IF YOU MOVE from your voting location after registering, you will not be able to vote as your address will have changed.  They need to prove that you live at your specified residence 6 months after registration closes which means you will show a current utility bill with your name on it as prove when voting.  Holder says “This will allow those who want to vote to have the same rights as everyone else and will cut down voter fraud to nill.  It will also eliminate those from the voter roles who are criminals or have since died.”  Are you kidding me???

What do the Independents do?  They either have to register GOP or Dem unless they register Ind.  And if they do and don’t field a candidate, then I guess THEY don’t get to vote.  I’m sure that that will go over REAL well with them.  By the same token, it will make them take another side and show everyone their true leanings which, I am guessing here, is what Holder and Obama think will benefit the Dem cause.  It seems that that is a big chance being taken.  Just a guess since I cannot figure out what is going through these wackos heads!

It doesn’t specify early, absentee or any other types of voting but I bet those won’t be allowed.  As with guns, he reads what he wants into or out of the Constitution and I can’t find where it stops him from doing this.  Senate Democrats say a Bill through the Congress is not necessary and can be done by Executive Order.  President Obama intends to issue the order by this Monday.  Someone has got to make a lawsuit and fast track it to the SCOTUS before this election.  This is going way too far in my opinion!

Seems that even though the BOS of will most likely raise our taxes yet again, the schools will not get their ample increases.  This has incensed the school superintendant Emporer .  In order to make up these lost funds for his vision of education utopia (as well as a significant increase to his personal salary) he has developed plans to bring new gelt to his coffers.  These initiatives are as follows:

1)  With the rising costs of fuels, all students riding school buses will be assessed a daily roundtrip fare of $1.50.  The fee will be evaluated each week to see if an increase is necessary based on the stock index of oil futures.  If fuel goes down then no further increase will be assessed.  Reduction in ride fare will be determined at the beginning of the next school year.

2)  No more school cafeteria lunches.  School lunches will be provided through the use of vending machines.  Hot meals can be made by using the cafeteria’s coin operated microwaves.  Any monies used in machines where no product is given is considered lost and machine use is at the risk of the students.  Like guns, NO outside lunches or snacks will be allowed on school grounds.  Eating at all is at the discretion of the students and their hunger pains.

3)  Teacher lounges will be re-used.  Since most teachers do their lounging in class, wasting more space for duplicity is unnecessary.  These lounges are to be utilized for new student curricula.  If teachers feel slighted, they have the option of leaving early for the time that would be spent in said lounges; without lose of pay, of course.

4)  The first new class available next year will be live sex education courses.  The old teacher lounge coaches will be re-used for this purpose.  Condoms will be sold on site for a fee of $10 to be used only while in class.  A $5 rebate will be given for all un-used comdoms.  There will be no cell phone cameras allowed as the video copyright belongs to the school.  These video tapes will be held in the restricted section of the library and can be viewed for a fee of $20.  No raincoats or blankets will be allowed in the library for these viewings.  Partners are optional and at the discretion of the students.  RAPE is a crime in this state and will not be tolerated.  This is not West Virginia or Ohio!  A note from your parents to attend this class is not necessary if you are older than 14.  The cost of the course is $200 a semester.  Aids (class supplies) are available on site.  Cleaning supplies will be provided for each student to cleanse their area after use.

5)  The second new class will be tattoo artistry for beginners.  Supplies can be purchased as follows:  12volt DC motor, batteries and #2 needles can be bought at the school supply store for $40.  Industrial Arts shop can sell you a completed, working kit for $85.  Black ink will be sold for $30 per 2 oz. bottle.  Colored ink goes for $50 per 2 oz. bottle.  The inks will be created in the Science/Chem lab.  The tattoo class will be held in another portion of the old teacher’s lounge, again, re-using old couches.  You will be allowed to bring your own aspirin to this class for the pain.  ABSOLUTELY no alcohol will be allowed.  This is still a school and there are rules to be adhered to.

6)  Gang Community Outreach will be the other class held in the old teacher’s lounge.  Literature of the gangs available in the area will be on hand and recruitment will be held on site.  NO INITIATIONS will be allowed on school grounds.  For those students recruited into a gang, having the tattoo art class as well the live sex education class on hand will be very beneficial as you start your new adventure.  There are no fees to attend this outreach as we want to cater to the minority community.  Fees or dues for membership will be handled by the gangs and are the students responsibility.  Civilty is the key word here and there will be no rival gangbanging within the outreach center.  A community outreach certificate will be supplied by the school for all those students who join a gang.  This certificate IS NOT transferable to the BSA for a merit badge.

The way I understand it, all monies collected will be distributed 50/50 between the schools’ coffers and the Emporer’s pocket.  Having pay-as-you-go doesn’t seem such a bad idea but this whole new curriculum is inane and foolish from where I look at the day!

Yes, the MadLibs are at it again. The prototype for the space shuttle replacement, the X-37B robotic spaceplane, is now in orbit. And the ulterior motive? Surveillance.

Sure, folks.  We’re going to put very expensive sensors on the FIRST EVER launch of a new spacecraft, when we have many other launch vehicles available that are extremely reliable.  Right.  And the WTC buildings were an inside job, too.

No, I still don’t know the Kennedy assassination truth but I got this from a guy who knows a guy that is friends with my sister’s co-worker.  Personally, it has to be true.  This is good stuff!

Harry Reid wanted to get into politics and at the ripe age of 25 he met someone in the Maricon family.  This is a small, ethnic gangster family that said they could help him get started but that he would have to pass initiation to join the family.  Initiation consisted of being castrated and since Harry didn’t know what those things did, he agreed to it.  I know but that isn’t the half of it.  When Obama started dissing Las Vegas, the NY families got highly upset.  They went to poor Harry to get him to have his boy Obama shut up but then realized it to be a lost cause because Harry had no balls!  They in turn went to their pal “Knuckles” Schumer who has been connected all his life, being groomed and all by Jimmy Hoffa.

Now Chuckie started out on the docks and that is where he met Joe Biden.  Back when Biden first started working the docks, Chuck and his friends knew him to be a mouthy sissy.  Everyone brought a lunch pail and they used to take Joe’s and beat him in the head with it-hence the name “Lunch Pail Joe”.  He allowed the moniker because he so wanted to “belong”.  You know the type.  Anyway, over the years of being beat in the head with his lunch pail, the hair follicles on his head stopped growing hair.  Joe is a very vain person and this balding nature was unacceptable.  He went to a hair doctor who told him that all hair follicles above his shoulders were damaged but they could try an experimental procedure (at a discounted rate, of course) that he agreed to.  It worked and the hair plugs removed from his anal area was just enough to cover most of his pate.  The family changed his moniker to “plugs” but Joe still goes by “lunch pail”.

So Schumer goes to “plugs”, I mean Biden and tells Joe that the Family is pissed and are willing to not only spill the beans about the anal hair transplant, but they also have Obama’s original birth certificate from….you ready….Uganda!  It seems that while working as a Peace Corp volunteer, Barry’s mother met Idi Amin and had an affair.  Now Idi doesn’t like loose ends like a bunch of little bastards running around from his loins.  What usually happens is that he kills the women and eats the kids.  He got that from watching the lions daily life on the Nat. Geo channel.  Well, another social worker asked Idi if he could have the white girl of which he promised to marry her; adopt the kid and take them far away.  Idi agreed to this only because his freezer was full and the frozen kids would last him well into the fall.  Biden now knowing this got Obama to lay off Las Vegas and Obama was only to glad to oblige.  I just never knew that about the lions.

Did you know that Nancy Pelosi was raised in Baltimore?  Okay, did you know her dad use to frequent the red light district there (which was many blocks long back in the days) and he always had Nancy in tow?  Listen to this.  It seems that Nancy LIKED going with her dad and she got to know all the regulars….and visiting sailors….in the area.  It seems that blossoming Nancy was also becoming well known and got “invited” to try out the life.  She didn’t want her dad to know so she always told him that she was going “rowing” in the harbor.  Her first time out showed her the wealthy side of the business.  She didn’t much care about the sex part but the green was great.  Needless to say that she would never go with dad anymore to the district but dad kept hearing about “Naughty Nancy” -fortunately  never getting to meet her.  Good thing, I say.

Well dad got the moving itch and decided to uproot to San Fransisco.  Nancy really didn’t want to leave but got a referral and placement at a house in the bay area with a madam called Sally Stanford.  They met and became fast friends.  One day Nancy approached Sally with 2 problems.  The first problem is that some of the men smelled real bad to which her advice was to wear strong perfume-NOT Ode de Toilette.  The second problem was that most the men were ugly.  The advice given her was to close her eyes and that when she reopened them she could imagine that the man was someone else.  I don’t think it ever worked but it looks like the poor girl should practiced a lot.  I don’t think they called her “blinky” back then.  Anyway, things went well; Nancy made piles of money and all was right with the world.

One day Sally came to Nancy and  told her that she wanted to get into politics.  Nancy went to her dad but her dad was unwilling to help (being that Sally was a prostitute and all) but he did give Nancy a name of a person that may help.  That person was Dianne “The Bulldog” Feinstein.  Dianne and Sally made an agreement and Sally became Mayor of Sausalito.  What Sally couldn’t do (like that peanut farmer in Georgia) was to own a whorehouse which would be a conflict of interest.  She sold the house to Nancy and used the sale proceeds to buy a restaurant.  No, I don’t know what they served there.  Meanwhile Nancy made oodles of money but got the itch for politics herself after seeing the success of her former madam.  Just goes to show you what many “friends” and big breasts can get you.  Nancy still owns the house under an LLC (where do you think she got all that money) so that she can still bring home the bacon.  I think that Kevin can attest to the Baltimore lore.

Goodness!  Did you see that?  Everything does come back to Kevin Bacon!  It is amazing what you can learn on a blog site.  Have a foolish day.