novatownhall blog

Where you are held accountable for your convictions and record

Browsing Posts in April Fools

The woman is cracking up before our very eyes. The on going gaffathon, the delusional statements, the outright falsehoods delivered with all the believability of a four year old with their hand in the cookie jar. It would be funny if this woman where not third in the line of Presidential succession. Nancy Pelosi is Joe Biden’s life insurance. How is that for scary? Get a load of this latest howler:

So much for accountability. So much for the most open and honest congress ever. Now, if we want to see the legislation, we have to first enact it as law?!? Hey, Nancy this is not the ‘surprise’ in a box of Cracker Jacks. This a law that will heavily impact one sixth of our economy. This is a law that will impact who controls our choices regarding which doctor, what procedure and what medicine we can choose to use. This is a law that will impact how we make our choices near the end of life, the beginning of life, and everything in between. This insane woman expects such a choice to be made in the dark?

What do we do after the bill passes and is signed into law? Yell “Surprise?!?” Nancy Pelosi has more than likely succumbed to dementia, that has been caused by the stress from the task of trying to pull off the greatest con job the world has ever seen. She will go down in the books as the crazy aunt of our congress. We as Americans have witnessed this health care fiasco unfold over this past long year. Time and time again the Democrats shut the Republicans and the American Public out as they schemed behind closed doors, cutting deals to somehow get this travesty signed into law. We as Americans can do better, and should demand better of our government.

It seems that there is one entrepreneur out there willing to take a gamble in today’s crisis environment.  Glacier Enterprise LLC is willing to take your stock portfolio at today’s price and hold it for you for 4 or 8 years.  You will have to be cryogenically frozen and, depending on your time request, thawed during a time after this nightmare.  Your portfolio should have grown back to its near high level of which Glacier will split the gains during your freeze to offset their expenses. 

Says Fred Jed, CEO and President, ” this is a win-win oppotunity.  It allows people to fore-go the physical ailments involved with worrying about your life savings and it allows us to keep our doors open by at least paying the overhead.  Besides which, if your re-thaw is successful, you will be 4 to 8 years younger looking then your pals.  And we guarantee our cosmetic line will cover any freezer burn for up to 72 hours!”

Mr. Jed was very candid saying the procedure was made for terminally ill people where future technology would not only be able to cure their illness but also be able to safely and successfully thaw you out without noticable permenant damage.  “but we at Glacier are willing to take the chance if you are.”  Such optimism in times of anguish is refreshing!

If you are interested, give them a call at 1-888-CHILL ME.  You may be glad you did.  And if not, you won’t know the difference anyway.

First of all, thanks to Bobby for joining our intrepid band here.  Fresh blood is a good thing.  I admire Bobby’s pluck and the energy he brings.  Now for the other side of the coin …

You are a snob — in a twisted kind of way.  Your hero worship of ‘the common working man’ waxes lame and Leninist.  Being lame is well … lame! So is being a Leninist. I hope you get the picture.

I have worked construction doing both Carpentry and HVAC.  I have dug ditches. I currently work as an engineer in front of a computer doing something you call woman’s work.  In short, kiss my behind.  I studied long and hard to earn the skills I use today precisely because, having actually done manual labor, I found nothing romantic, overtly manly, or ennobling about doing manual labor.  I found it hard, and boring.  I also realized any moron could dig a ditch or wield a mop (did that as well).  For me, carpentry was interesting, as a hobby.

I look back on my efforts to get the engineering degree as one of the three most difficult things I have ever done.  Four years of sustained effort, working into the wee hours.  You ridicule this?  You are a ignorant.  Try getting healthy by going to a plumber when you need a doctor.  Try getting your teeth worked on by a stone mason, or a barber. Try getting a job from a janitor or a cashier.

As for the pay, why should a guy wielding a mop get paid as much as a guy who can design factory machines, cars, aircraft or piping systems?  Please answer that.  Can you?

The rarer the item the more it costs on the open market.  Precious stones cost more than glass because glass is easy to get, and plentiful.  Finding a ruby is hard work because it is rare.  The skill required to wield a mop is common, a Doctor is rare.  A pro-caliber ball player is rarer still.  The salaries reflect this.

Frankly, I have a question for you, “Why do you think a cashier should be paid minimum wage, as defined by some politician in Washington?”  Considering your apparent disdain for Washington, I imagine this answer will be interesting to say the least.

As for your ridiculous assertion that raising minimum wage helps workers or the economy, every time it is raised unemployment goes up, or the rate of hiring decreases, or both.  How is this a good thing?  Please explain how your greatly self-vaunted experience has lead to a conclusion 180 degrees out of phase with the historical track record of raising the minimum wage?

In the future, kindly refrain from calling me and others cowards or trying to threaten us.  First of all, you look like an idiot when you do that.  Second of all, none of us are scared by your threats, you only look like a sociopath.  Furthermore, what would you do if one of us called you out?  Hmmmm?

One last thing.  Waxing scatological, or couching your diatribes in the ‘Anglo-Saxon,’ does little to further your case.  Getting frustrated because we all don’t bow down and hail your ‘wisdom’ does not help you, it only makes you look weak and even more pathetic than you would look otherwise.

I got this from a retired friend, and for some reason I started thinking about ACT

Yesterday I was at my local Target buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Sheriff, the Wonder Dog and was in the checkout line when woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

What did she think I had, an elephant?  So since I’m retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn’t have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again.  I added that I probably shouldn’t, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I’d lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry.  The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me.  I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter’s butt and a car hit us both.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard. Target won’t let me shop there anymore. Better watch what you ask retired people.  They have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say.

It seems that talks have begun between Osama-bama and Clinton…..Bill Clinton that is.  With Bore-rock being grilled by the liberal press on some very touchy issues and Hilly starting to regain her popularity and charm, it seems that Bill has been causing alot of trouble in the Obama camp.  Word has it that there has already been 2 private meetings between BJ and Bore-rock.  The discussions alude to how to keep BJ quiet and from doing further harm.  A deal is being made as we speak to allow BJ to have the VP spot with Bore-rock if he will just shut-up about these embarrassing issues in Bore-rocks’ past (and present, it would seem).

When BJ was asked if any of this was true, the only thing he had to say was “I can’t comment at this time but I will tell you that if it were to be, Hillary would bow out of the race to support me as any good wife should.  And Hillary is a damn good wife!”

Now I don’t know about anyone else but I don’t believe Hilly to be just any old fool.  Not when April shows her as being first in this race.  I think that BJ is just one big joke.